Halfway point

I thought I would blog about my weight loss journey today! I was thinking about it today, probably in a non-positive manner b/c that's how I roll, and realized I was halfway to my initial goal of 70 lbs. And it made me feel a little better about myself! ;)

When I first decided it was time to change my life to be healthier, I realized I needed to lose 70 lbs and I thought that was NEVER going to be possible. That is like a whole 3rd grader or something, people!! But, I knew it had to be done. I knew waaaay before I actually started on the journey, but Dec 2010 was when the planets aligned and...or my heart and brain aligned?? I don't know exactly what happened, but it did. (stands on soapbox) And until that "a-ha" moment happens, you will NEVER be successful at true weight loss...or a healthier life...whatever you wanna call it. NEVER. THE END. PERIOD. (stands off of soapbox)
I dont have any science or whatever to back that up, just me. My gut (while smaller, still big) feeling.

Anywho, that moment really started when someone "tagged" me in a Facebook photo and I couldn't find myself. Because I was so fat and was in such denial, I didn't recognize myself anymore. I kinda played it off as just a bad angle, and whadaya know, a few months later and more tagged pictures...more bad angles?? Nope. Just a girl who had lost control, was miserable and felt like total crap all the time.

I wasn't a chubby kid. Wasn't a chubby teen. Wasn't a chubby college student. I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and never gained weight. And then a tiny baby started growing in my belly and I managed to pack on 50+ lbs in 9 months. It was out of control. And b/c I was always so thin, everyone just blew it off and said not to worry about it...I would drop the baby weight soon enough...so I didn't worry about it! But it stayed, and stayed, and then more and more and then another baby and then some more and...well, you get the idea! Not pretty.

Soooo....I just started small, eating better, cutting processed foods an any other junk that was in my pantry. It was a slow and sometimes painful process. I began weighing and measuring everything I ate, cut all cokes, juice, etc. and just drank water only and (most days) one cup of coffee. I lost a few pounds.

I was disappointed.

A few months later I started couch to 5k (after seeing one of my FB friends trying it out) on the elliptical and I LOVED it! I lost some more pounds.

Feeling a little less disappointed.

Summer came and went and my exercise had dwindled and I decided it was time to do something else before I gained all the weight back, so I started seeing a trainer. (also after seeing and being inspired by another friend on FB). That was probably the best decision I made. I did that for 6 months and worked harder than I EVER had in my entire life. And I really didn't lose a lot of weight, but my body changed drastically! (PSA: don't let the scale determine your total loss...that whole gaining muscle thing messes with your mind)

Now I have a workout partner and that was another really great decision. I love her and I love exercising with her! That is sooo very important!! Do what you love with people you love!!

So I know this might be all over the place and kinda rambl-y...but j just wanted to get it all down. I've lost 35 pounds and I'm trying to be proud of myself...and my mind just tells me "it's been 18 months!! That's it!!!" but today, my heart said "be proud!! That's a BIG accomplishment!!".

My heart is so much nicer than my mind. Geeez.

*Sigh*

35 more to go...I sure hope it doesn't take another 18 months!! 8)

andddd even though it's embarrassing and I'm ashamed of what I used to look like...here is that first photo that changed it all...like where's Waldo, but where's Fatty?? 8)
Andddddd....photo #2...green sweater :P
(I can't get them in the right order! Sorry!!)